Four Writing Lessons from John Carpenter's PRINCE OF DARKNESS Screenplay

Efficiency in storytelling is like any other art form. Take music, for example. Some really sparse songs are fantastic, sometimes you need 48 tracks of overdubs.

When it comes to screenwriting, I would say I try to take after my filmmaking idol John Carpenter. It's a classic, ultra-sparse Hollywood style of show don't tell. Here's four ways JC (working under the nom de plume of Martin Quatermass) shows his skill at keeping things tight in the screenplay for 1987's PRINCE OF DARKNESS. Read the Screenplay Here

1. You must describe in order to provide the picture, but not in the way that prose does. The screenplay opens in something called INT SENTINEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT which is then described: "A tiny bedroom. Priest's cell. Spare. Moody shadows from the window. A large cross on the wall." This is reporting the facts of the room. Only two opinions in there, "spare" could be up for debate and "moody" is a matter of opinion. Prior to that he says that there's "dark electronic music." Sort of a note to self, but anybody who's seen a Carpenter flick will know what he means. So break that up and you see he's got the whole room in two lines, and also even suggests a pattern of cutting with the short jabs of sentences. "Priest's cell" makes a comment about the guy's existence -- prisoner of God or prisoner to his sect and his secret about the Devil -- as well as being physically descriptive. Two words. He reminds the cinematographer it's a horror film: "moody shadows." He reminds the art department to get a cross for the wall. And we're out.
2. Pictures equal words. If it's something we'd recognize with little effort, spend little effort. Same script: EXT UNIVERSITY CAMPUS DAY "An idyllic campus. Charming ivy-covered buildings. STUDENTS stroll the grounds." We've been there a million times. Also this is the character's Ordinary World so we want a sense of normalcy, and we got it. It takes as long to read that sentence as the shot would be held on screen. Now if you want to draw out an establishing for pacing purposes, you could. say right after a thrilling scene you want to bring the reader back down, you could take an extra word or two.
3. Tell departments what they need to know. Later the church is described "immense. Gothic. Its spires sweep upward into the sky." It's a wish list for the location scout. Who wasn't able to find that because there's no abandoned Gothic in Los Angeles. But you have shots and tone. Suggests a low angle looking up, for sure, without saying it.
4. Get the characters across fast. Carpenter calls Donald Pleasence's character PRIEST. He's described as "PRIEST, 50's." Probably knew he was going to cast him. Plus, what are you going to describe, the black outfit and collar? He's a priest. If he didn't know who he was going to cast, he'd probably have to try harder. "Brian Marsh, 24, a graduate student in physics, newly arrived on campus, walks down a sunlit courtyard carrying an armload of textbooks." My inclination would be to leave out "newly arrived on campus" because we can't see the past -- or can we? What does a newly-arrived student look like? It's outfit, action, demeanor.. .Lots in one phrase.

​I'm inclined to put the exact effort necessary on the page. It's a document to get you to the screen, not a stand-alone work of art. It's like fancy fonts on an architectural blueprint. Or, it's like putting expensive aftermarket spoilers and stuff on a shitty import car. I want my screenplay to be a 71 Plymouth Barracuda. Just a monster under the hood. In short -- make the "What Happens" be so amazing that it doesn't require embellishment.